When I was a child I scowled. My expression was a severe case of "Resting Bitch Face". I do not remember being very unhappy as a child, but I do remember not being overly happy. I simply existed in my life, experiencing moments of joy and moments of sadness, together intertwined the way kudzu vines … Continue reading You Will Probably Survive Your Messed Up Childhood
Today for the first time publicly, I want to explain the ins and outs of this name change and why I finally felt ready to.
If Mothers Day is hard, I understand this too well. There were many Mothers Days when I couldn't call my mom. There were years of frustration, pain, and anger. Even after her death I'm still coming to terms with how our relationship did and didn't work and so for me, Mothers Day is hard. My … Continue reading If Mothers Day Is Hard
When I was 11 my best friend wore a pair of white tights to church. She had dark brown hair and Italian heritage. Thick leg hair stuck out through the tights and could be seen under them. She was so embarrassed. Everyone pointed and laughed and asked why her hairs were so long. She tearfully … Continue reading I Let My 9 Year Old Wear Makeup
WARNING : This post contains information about my past eating disorder and may be triggering to some people. Please click away now if this subject matter is not something you want/need to see. I have always been "thicc". As a teenager I had wide hips, thick thighs, an ample booty, and a small waist. This … Continue reading Why You Will Never Make Me Hate My Body Again
I started having panic attacks in high school. I didn't know that's what they were at the time. I thought maybe something was wrong with my brain. I blamed them on lack of sleep or not eating enough for breakfast. Like clockwork they'd arrive, first period, about 20 minutes into the school day. I'd be … Continue reading Deep Quiet – Finding Calm In The Midst Of Panic
I never speed. I'm religiously faithful to speeding limits. I keep my hands at ten and two and scan the horizon for traffic signs and police. I'm cautious. When I test drove a sports car the salesman told me to open her up and see what she could do. I opted not to and instead … Continue reading The Space She Held